I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize