I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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