also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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