You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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