my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I fill condoms, not promises.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
