Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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