we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
