"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
