I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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