Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
