There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize