You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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