Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
