Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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