We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize