life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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