his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
