I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
