I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
