Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
