OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I need moral support for this bender
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
