Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
