If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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