your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
