whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
