what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
