what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
