Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
