I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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