You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
