I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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