I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
