I looked at my own cervix.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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