she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
