Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
