omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
