She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
