I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
