Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
