I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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