I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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