woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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