Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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