I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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