Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
