dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
