I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
