i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
God, I missed his penis.
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