yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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