I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize