That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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