I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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