Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
