i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
how drunk are you?
Several
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
