I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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