No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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