you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
